Sometimes, it is best that some things don't go your way
Saturday, January 11, 2014 ★ 7:53 AM │
You have been looking forward to this thing to happen for a long time, for example, wanting to go to the newly opened local aquarium. However, things
pop out suddenly. Like, you caught the common flu, or you have a project meeting in school, etc. And you feel so pissed and annoyed at the world, and you wonder: "Why God? Why me?" But trust me, this happens to everyone on our whole wide Earth, things don't always go our way, but it doesn't mean that it is the end, we don't have to give up on ourselves. No, we should
NEVER do that.
Wanna hear a real life story?
Okay, here goes...
Last year, I really really wanted to be the secretarial-treasurer of my school's choir. (That is my co-curricular activity in high school). I had been vying that position since the start of 2013. Sigh.. I know aiming high too fast. In June 2013, we were to have handover, which is when the senior batch handovers all of choir affairs to the junior batch (my batch in 2013). Where we would take care of the freshmen and sophomores in choir. I guess when in my sophomore year (2012), I had gotten into welfare committee, and it was quite a big issue, we were the three little and only sophomores in the committee in the midst of the older seniors (juniors in high school). So I had this thinking going on: They would choose me, wouldn't they? Since I was already in it, I have experience. Furthermore, during the past batches' time, those who had gotten into the committee had also proceeded to higher positions in the next handover.
On the day of handover, I was full of anxiety and anticipation. I was anxious as to know what position would I get? OR if I were to even get a position. And then, the seniors started announcing the positions after a tearful farewell performance via pop songs, old choir songs and handover video. As the positions moved from welfare committee, to music committee, to admin committee (where a secretarial-treasurer belongs to), my hands started feeling clammy and my heart palpitated. I was so nervous. There seemed to be ants crawling in my stomach, making me queasy as names were announced. Soon, the role of secretary emerged, and it wasn't me, but I wasn't upset. I was thinking: I might be treasurer. And the name was called. My heart plunged, I could feel blood surging into my head. After the vice-president and president were handed over to, I could feel like someone was blocking my airways. I was literally gasping and choking for air. I could not believe my ears. I wasn't chosen,
at all.
While smiles were written all over the faces of the new committee, and the happiness radiated from the newly graduated seniors as they handed over their year of hard work, I could feel my plastered smile wavering. I was controlling my emotions, and my tears. My eyes were flooded with tears, but I urged them not to fall.
Soon, I was left alone in a corner to pack my bag, ready to just go home and cry my eyes out. And then, the ex-president went to me and asked me if I was disappointed. I couldn't help it and bit my lips. Then I nodded lightly, not meeting his eyes. He then proceeded to thank me for my effort the past year (May 2012 to May 2013), and then he shook my hand. I burst. Tears spurted out as if I were a dam and my tears were pressurized water. He told me:
"It is normal to feel sad and disappointed, but it is how you handle it that ensure whether you can make a lost opportunity into a benefit and an advantageous scenario. And I really believe you have the right attitude to do so. I really liked working with you this past year. Continue working hard for choir. Don't lose that smile ever and continue to emit your positive energy."
I was sore the few days after. That day, the moment I entered my dad's car, I slid down the seat and cried my heart out. I cried to my dad, "Why didn't they choose me? I want to give up, I hate life."
And till now, almost 7 months has past. I really want to thank my parents and grandmother for the support they provided in these few days. It may be nothing to those who read about this. But in those few days, they were very important to me, I felt so lost, as if I lost a limb, I felt like giving up on my life. You could say I was extreme, but in days like that, you really feel as if you were dead, yet undead. In those few days, I felt like the world was so unfair, all I ever wanted was to lead my choir like a leader. But little did I realize, the position wasn't what mattered, it was who I am that mattered. For all I know, there were more capable people in my cohort who I know deep down could lead our choir to greater heights. Now, thinking back, I'm so glad my seniors didn't give me that position, or any position at all. Because, I still have some growing up to do. I need the time to be more matured and on par with the rest. I could have gotten the position then, be happy, but yet not leading as well as the people now. And again reminiscing that day, it isn't that bad anymore. I have regained my happy and positive composure, and I still do really enjoy choir, singing and my fellow choristers, even though I was so sure I would not in those days of "mourning the loss of a position".
But hey, this position thing is a small thing, even if I don't get it, it doesn't mean life has no meaning. Now that this event has passed, I feel like I have grown more matured, I have gained insights. I'm so glad the Lord chose this path for me. Now I am contented being just a chorister, plus, I have additional time to buck up on my subpar performance in my academics.
Sometimes, it is best that some things don't go your way. Because there are other paths that lead you to a more suitable place ultimately. Have hope, and never give up, God will always be guiding us to the rightful way.
Love, peace and hugs,
Al (:
Labels: never give up, teen, teenagers, the world
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